who runnin?!

So I ran in the Jr Achievement / Chik Fil-A 5K this morning. It was my third ever (the first being this same 5K this time last year). Always an interesting experience.
Let me say this about running. It should be the simplest sport there is. Its walking - but faster. Right? Am I missing something here? Well, to see runners congregate somewhere for a race, you would think it was up the side of a mountain....underwater. They got shit strapped to their arms, tubes, pouches, fanny packs (!!!) and even super-modified baby strollers for the next generation. Its nuts! You cant just put on some tennis shoes and some gym shorts to run down the street? You gotta look like a candy raver astronaut now?
Probably the most notable item of clothing on the runner is the shorts. Now I can appreciate that the wrong shorts ride up, give you a wedgie AND make you look like a tool with pants up your crack as you run. Its true. But these damn shorts with the angle slit out of the thigh...I'll say this, they are waaaay better than the little spandex unitards that the running clubs sport (comeplete with built-in fanny packs! HA!) and which seem to be a favorite of big hairy mustache guys. And they look hella great on young women who run a lot. But the rest of the general population? And 70 year old men ?!?!?! The human ass cheek does not need that much breeze. Put that thing away and get some shorts that make you think "shorts" and not "loin cloth".
And oh these old men....and women, too, to be fair. Now I have to say that I applaud these folks for being able to dust my sorry ass in their 70's. Kudos. And I am very happy for them being motivated and outgoing. But runners seem to have a unique body style to begin with. Super lean with less than no body fat. Its kinda creepy. And when they hit AARP status, the skin kinda starts to sag off the bone and there is no fat there to keep it filled out. So you get this wrinkle-tastic skeletal thing going on that, well...it ain't pretty. Now at least they are in shape, and I give them that, but they are also the most flambuoyant people out there and wear less than ANYBODY.

Thankfully this guy was not in my race, but you see what I am talking about here. Day-glo, thigh slit shorts, no shirt (and believe me they make and sell all kinds of wierd running shirts) and he looks like he way needs to eat a sandwich.
In case you are wondering, I am 29 and I ran the thing in just under 31 minutes which is a few minutes slower than my time last year (this angered me). I wore a very tasteful Adidas ensemble of some white soccer style shorts, a breathable t-shirt and my new blue and silver running shoes. Maybe someone is blogging right now about the fool-ass fool who ran in his dumb Adidas stuff and got smoked by the old ladies. If you do happen to come across that blog, please forward me a link.