Off we go....

   The new year is upon us. Fresh starts for me. You. And God knows the Memphis Grizz. To have been looking so badass out the gate in November, they really raised some eyebrows - in the bad way - in December. Left me with a losery birthday weekend and generally hurt Memphis' feelings. But its all good - the past few games have been encouraging and if we need some fired up fans then i expect bringing the Spurs (the Godfathers of Flop) and the Clippers (their disciples) to town ought to do the trick.
   Along the way I have added some new music to the playlist to kick off the new year. Thought you might be interested in what you might hear on any given game night coming up...
   
1. I got a buddy (shout out to Tony Ferren for digging up tracks on request!) a 4 cd soundtrack to the anime "Samurai Champloo" for Christmas. Hard to find and imported as hell, this bad boy is largely the work of a now deceased Asian producer known as Nujabes. These tracks are like a jazzy Wu Tang and I can't get enough. If it sounds like time for a ninja battle in the nowy woods, that's what's up.
2. Some classic rock in the form of Robert Palmer "Addicted To Love" and Survivor "The Burning Heart"...i don't mind some old school rockin - but i have my own standards...i need a dope remix of Yes "Owner of a Lonely Heart"!
3.David Lee Roth "Shoo Bop" - through an undercover hook up I managed to gank the sounds collection from another unnamed NBA team (hint: i hate them) and this was a gem of their collection. Diamond Dave deserved to be a bigger solo hit....i guess.
4. Kanye's "Power" (the Paper Diamond remix) - Trap is inescapable - much as dubstep was before it. That said, I actually don't mind it too much. It makes for a good anthemic arena sound. And "Power" is borderline played out so a fresh take on it was nice.
5. Herb Alpert - Bitterweet Samba (Empresarios remix) - a straight up classic and a rather bumpin remix. I guarantee you know this melody whether you think you do or not!

Oh! And I am currently on the lookout for ANY Outkast instrumentals - the older the better. I would also love to dig up the beat from Mystikal's "DANGER!"

2013....REACTIVATE!!!

I HAVE RETURNED! What's up gang?? So good to see you again!
It's not like I have been up to much since last we saw each other but my oh my it has been a minute since my last entry....
Well here's what's important: since we left off I have had many DJ adventures, many basketball adventures and also many basketball DJ adventures....
I took the "click effects" job at the Memphis Grizzlies which entails finding and playing all the music during gameplay. That has led to many questions, answers, anecdotes and adventures so i figured now might be a good time to reactivate the blog and keep things up to date in DJ/Grizzlies/Defective land....i plan to post new songs added to the playlist, requests i am looking for, and any fun stories i happen upon along the way.

So stay tuned and be patient with me! It's been a minute and I have lots of goodies to share!
Go Grizz! Go Tigers! Go DJ!

a mixtape for summer

I always get inspired dj-wise in late summer. I dunno - tracks come out fast and furious, the days are long and the nights are hot, the beach is calling.....and just in time for August, I got this set recorded. Looking back i was kind of surprised at the odd batch of remixes - to have so much old stuff, it really does sound fresh. not as high energy as some stes, but definitely not lacking in the groove dept....35:00 even on this one - a perfect set for a good 3 mile run!

Cozmo's "Mouth Of Summer Madness" mix:

Website link: http://www.mediafire.com/folder/6faca1f3bde77dec9bf8d6369220dcab6467eb6f986cee32c95965eaa7bc68bc


Stevie Nicks -"Smile At You" (Youth's Going Home Dub)
Orbital-"Halcyon" (Tom Middleton re-model)
Chris Issak-"WickedGame" (Trentemoller Businessman Remix)
Outkast - "Spottieottiedopalicious" (Instrumental)
Hall & Oates - "I Cant Go For That" (Fromage Yacht Rock edit)
Major Lazer -"Cash Flow" (Classixx Glass Bottom Dub mix)
Michael Jackson "Remember the Time" (Sleeper Heartbroken remix)
Gorillaz - "Kids With Guns" (Hot Chip remix)
Outkast - "Spottieottiedopalicious" (Floyd da Locksmif remix)
Susan Cardigan - "Don't Burn Your Bridges"

adventures in Hickory Hood

I took a journey out to the old stompin grounds a week or so ago just to get a gander at the goings on....and especially to see the Statue!

Would you believe we used to hide in these trees and lob old fruit from the bottom of the fridge onto these passing cars, then laugh our goofy little asses off?!

Defective goings on

I must say, it has been a tough time of late economically, but people must be partying anyway, because the dj biz has been good to me lately. Not that it has been easy - I have had to adapt my repertoire in several ways - but there is little money more fun to make than freelance dj money.
Last month I handled a prom (!!??), this month will involve a black family reunion, and there have been many memphis Grizzlies gigs as well.
Meanwhile, it would seem the Defective Agency, two dj's with whom Aaron B & I are closely affilliated), seem to have landed a "regular" gig as Muck Sticky's stage dj's. The D.A. has been an opening act for Muck for sometime, but with the exit of his old DJ, Furley Wally, they were asked to step up and handle stage duties. I think the first official show together was Memphis In May Music Fest......very muddy, very rainy, but very fun. Quite the adventure - and what a crowd!

I have posted up a recording of the Defective Agency set from the last Muck Show....
http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=5530a61ab8d8764ab64026cfc0611236fcb9a1030a0ae9155621d66e282a0ee8
The Defective Agency Live @ Muck Sticky June 6th 2009

1. Bassnectar - Roustabout (BN remix)
2. Biz Markie - Just a Friend
3. RJD2 - Uprock
4. Beastie Boys - Dub The Mic
5. Esau Mwamwaya Santogold M.I.A & Radioclit - Get it up
6. London Elektricity - Strangest Secret In The World
7. Bird Peterson w/ Bugsy Flowz - Billz
8. Smashing Pumpkins - Zero (Le Castle Vania remix)
9. Johnny Taylor - Good Love
10. 3-6 Mafia - Sippin On Some Sizzurp (Tetris mix)
11. Dj Assault - A** & T****s (Nirvana mix)

presenting Moochy Khan McWhiskerface Baker (you can call her Mooch)

OK, so it has been a minute....and you're all like "What the heck has Justin been doing?!"
Please allow me to bring you up to speed, one post at a time.
I think it is relevant to mention that I have taken on a new partner in crime - a cat - which I have elected to name Mooch. She was found living under my friends Taylor & Britten's new house, scrawny and bitchy. We don't know her hard knock story, but she had some ties to that house, as Taylor discovered her in his kitchen one day like she owned the place. Unfortunately for her, their German Shepherd is NOT a cat lover.

Meanwhile, it had dawned on me that it might help socialize Arrow to have another living thing in the house for all the time I am not there. I thought it might help drain some of his intense focus offa me. While edgey around other dogs (at least when they get in his face), he has always been indifferent to cats, bats, rats, frogs, hogs, horses, giraffes, and whatever else ya got.

Cut to now - the cat is fattening up, stretching out, and taking great pride in strutting across Arrow's head when he gets caught laying around unaware...

Memphis party kids represent?

One morning a few weeks ago I came out to walk Arrow and I couln't help but notice that there was a line of hip looking 20-somethings lined up down the sidewalk of Union and up 4th. I later came to find out that these young ambitious souls were there to audition for "So You Think You Can Dance?" I also later came to find out that a guy from our local party scene made it onto the tv cut. Now I can't claim to be buddies or even friends with Chris, but he is a very familiar face to all of us who frequent dj-driven events and shows here in the M-Town area. Even after we all started wearing pants that fit and began drinking beer instead of eating misc. pills, this guy is still keeping it real. He can be seen doing this same exact dance in these same exact jeans any given saturday at the Full Moon Club so i know good and damn well this ain't no put on. I give Chris props on having the guts to get up there and do his thing, but his attitude afterwards is overly defensive and somewhat embarrassing. Regardless, it makes for compelling TV, no?

(Li'l) Son Of The Beach Returns!

Oh, Dauphin Island. I just made it back there one more time - and as usual I feel a better person for it. I feel a need deep within every year or so, calling me back to the ocean. The tide, the wind, the open sky and stars, shrimp boats and seagulls....it puts me at peace. It is amazing. This year I once again met my parents down there to spend a few days in a rented beach house. Like Samuel Adams, always a good choice.


The island has been hit over the last6 or 7 years by waves of hurricanes - usually right about the time my parents are trying to get down there. After years of anxiety over last minute cancellations due to incoming storms, the folks thought it over and decided to rent in May. This meant we didn't have to sweat hurricane season - but what would be left from the last few? We hadn't seen the island in 2 years and last year's trip was cancelled due to one of the worst storm hits in a while (and yes that includes Katrina).
Well, the island still stands, I tell you what, and it seems to be thriving in some odd way. There are LOTS of lots, empty that is, where houses used to be. And the drainage ditch beside the main road is completely filled in with what used to be beach sand. And a few of the restaurants are blown away. BUT wherever there used to be a 60's/70's style house, there is now a modern, pimped-out house or a lot where there will be one. Also, there are two public beaches now which i have to think pumps some steady money into the island economy without jeapordizing what makes staying at a private house so special (and private).

All the staples are still in place, though. Seagulls steadily fly past the deck. For an investment of $2 worth of bread, you can have afternoons of pleasure feeding them. And they recognize you and remember, too! After day 2, they would stop by our deck just to see if I was feeling generous!

Dolphins were jumping around in front of the house, shrimp boats were puttering up and down the shoreline, a blue heron walked around in front of our deck, sand crabs skittered under our steps digging their holes to hide in.
The Estuarium which has the saaaaaame crap year after year (much like the Pink Palace, but with more living things) shocked me this year with this awesome dinosaur hanging in theier lobby - he's even gonna eat that bigass turtle! Yowza! They had a kid's book about sea dinosaurs on display at the counter which said to look in the gift shop. There was some difinite perpetratin' going on however because I saw no signs of dinosaur anything - and believe me when i tell you i looked!! Oh well, this picture of this dinosaur will have to do.

While we were there, we got to enjoy Mother's Day on Sunday which was very cool. Folks close to me can tell you my Mom and I can get into it with the best of em. But my Mom is great - especially in a mellow environment like Dauphin Island. And just to explain the title of today's blog, she and my Dad had a conversation concerning my nicknames and which came first. To my Dad, I have always been Cozmo or Coz. Dunno quite where that came from but its been there since before I can remember. His brother was Jitter (real name, Bill) to everyone he knew til the day he died. Go figure. Anyway, my Mom calles me Li'l Son. I cant say when this started but it seems to me it was well after I ceased to be li'l anymore. So it was meant more in a familiar, humbling sort of gesture - like to your Mom you will always be little and their son.
Also, while we were there, these two celebrated their (drumroll please)...31st Anniversary!
I love these guys! And we had a lot of fun - golfing with Dad, shopping with Mom, eating oysters and shrimp, watching monster movies, talking music in the waves....moments to cherish, for sure.
The house we stayed in was WICKED bad. 4 bedrooms with king sized beds, 4 big bathrooms, the covered deck, great kitchen with an island, high def flatscreens with cable and built-in DVD players in EVERY room. The houses have come a long way since my parents took Aaron and I long ago. Hopefully I will be back there next year - maybe you'll join me?

In Memory of My Buddy, Danger

It saddens me greatly to tell you that last week one of my best friend's best friends, his dog Danger, was hit by a car and died. His mom, Daisy, was also involved but managed to make it, though roughed up a bit.
Danger was my old friend Chris Walker and his lady, Allison's, big, goofy, sweet young dog. He was my good buddy, too, and was almost destined to have been my dog. A few years ago when i moved into my current digs downtown, I realized I was beginning to feel the yearning for a dog. Around the same time, Daisy managed to have liasons with the neighborhood Border Collie, Ranger, and thus Chris & Allison came to expect puppies....which never came. I went ahead and found Arrow - and we all know how that has turned out - but Daisy Dog never got preggers. Or so it seemed. One day I got a call - Daisy had surprised everyone by dropping of a single pup. Danger.

As you can see, even when he was small, he was BIG. And this trend continued! But despite being a big lug, he was a sweetheart. When I had to crash on Chris' couch once, Danger slept at one end under my feet. When I would come over, he would talk to me in his Wookie talk. At the park, he never stopped trying to be friends with Arrow (who in contrast does not like my feet, is generally quiet, and does not like to socialize) - despite being rebuffed on more than one occasion.
Great dog. Very sad. I know Chris and Allison loved Danger a lot - and he was worth loving. My thoughts go out to them. I am putting up this pic not to make anyone silly or corney, but because i thought it was a great pic. Not only of Danger in his full-sized glory, but of the dynamic between these two - true buddies.

B'More Funky

Hey guys - do we still like B'More Booty Funk? Of course we do - its been cool since Stan Bell was playing The Perculator in 1990 and its cool now. There have been so many neato remixes popping up over the last 12 months or so i just had to get a hand on some and do this damn thang. This set is way more straight forward than my usual mixes and it is 100% dance floor. Its also rather adult-ish (its no DJ Sluggo, but....). Clocks in at a sweaty 35 minutes or so. Enjoy!

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=6e6fa47a93bda1b0ed24a2875c7fa58e1f49edf0 067b3bb1c95965eaa7bc68bc

1. James Brown - Papa's Got a Brand New Bag (Dj Eli re-dit)
2. Bonde de Role - gasolina (buraka som sistema dub remix)
3. Aphex Twin - Windowlicker (Mac 3000 Video Remix)
4. Pete Rock & CL Smooth - T.R.O.Y. (DJ Dusty Remix) R.I.P. K-Swift
5. Spank Rock - Put That Pussy On Me (DIplo Tonight remix)
6. Suzanne Vega - Toms Diner (Tittsworth remix)
7. Cajmere - Its Time For The Perculator
8. Harry Belafonte - Jump In Line (Shake Shake Senora) (John Bourke Bmore Mix)
9. Justice - D.A.N.C.E. (Titsworth remix)
10. Spank Rock - Lyndsay Lohan's Revenge
11. Tittsworth - Nappy Headed Hoes

Back up in this....

Well, well....it's been a minute since you came here and read a true post, eh? Yes I admit the blogosphere has been hurting in my absence - but at least I saw fit to post up some cartoons and pics, right?
Well, it certainly hasn't been boring. Tigers season alone and the Coach Cal incident rocked my world - as evidenced in my past few posts - and I would have blogged about it, but it seemed wherever I went, and I mean WHEREVER I went, its all anyone could talk about. I wonder what the last time something so affecting happened here in Mempho. Whether you think its bad or stupid or whatever that people care so much about basketball around here, we do. Black, white, young, old, rich, poor - it is amazing the effect that these Tigers have on my community. Oh, and if you care about my 2 cents worth on Josh Pastner, I will say this: I am very hopeful for this guy. If Cal had to have him and he is indeed the ace recruiter they say, he already has an ace in the hole. With a decent batch of players and the right assistant or two, this guy could do a lotta good in C-USA. And, should he turn out okay, he will be a Memphis hero, shaped before our eyes. If he sucks, well, at least he will do so with a decent roster and an excuse. Its not like he can pull any power moves on us against our will...but I think we gon' be aight.
What else to report? Lots of truck wrapping going on - the rappers seem to be coming back out from the shadows...we hadn't seen them much in the last year or so, as cheaper (crappier) competition began springing up all over the place. But in recent days I have been graced by both Criminal Manne (pronounced Mayne for all you squares) and The Don Davinci (though I think he is just professionally creepy - I never saw any evidence that he actually raps!?)...
Last week I got a great dj gig from the Memphis Grizz for the Grand Opening of the Boys and Girls Club in what we call Nutbush - the area north of Summer & Highland. I have always wondered why they call it that...its not the Nutbush Tina Turner sang about, right?! Anyway, the gig was entertaining the youth while the grownups cut ribbons and did their thing.
DJ'ing for kids is tricky. They don't have the longest memories or attention spans, and they can be quite fickle. Plus, who the hell understands them or what they like?! The stuff i was into in 6th grade was retarded!!

But i did my homework and researched the top tracks on the pop and rap charts around here...having done the Grizz / kids dj thing a few times before, I was pretty well aware of their speed and taste - but some things never cease to amaze.
When you were in jr. high, did you know any dance routines? I don't mean like a cheer or The Kid n Play - I mean involved, hardcore, step by step dances? Well these kids are NOT playing. they are poppin, lockin, droppin it, bouncin it, flauntin it, and pushin it thees way and that. It is insane!

They do the birdwalk, the Cupid shuffle, they turn their swag on, and the stanky leg.....OH, the stanky leg. I could have put it on loop....Sunday I dj'd the Grizz's ticketholder appreciation perty at Putt Putt and got hit up for it 4 times. Thankfully my contact at the organization put down the "No Stanky Leg" mandate of just once.

My favorite was this one, where they let the kids have a showout on the dancefloor. The little girl in the center obviously rocked the joint - she was rockin, fuzzy boots and all. The little girl to her right was going off, too, though a little young to rule the floor just yet. But the one to watch is the little boy on the left. His Bill Cosby-ish shuffle (wiuth a dash of Chunk's Truffle Shuffle from Goonies) combined with his compulsion to fall to the ground and spin, made for the hilight of my evening.

Keep playing trivia for our tournament, but damn it gets frustrating...can you put these films in order? Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead, Encino Man, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, & Heathers?! Seriously, we lost it all on that one...
Anyway, I guess thats it fer now....getting tired - and we do like to get our crash on round hyah:

Kentucky? More like "Ken Kiss My..."

It must be March again in Memphis....

Crappy bank....but awesome windows!

True Blue

It had been on my mind for some time that the famous "Blue Dog" was merely a ripoff of my awesome "Arrow Dog". After seeing posters everywhere for the Blue Dog art show in midtown then seeing Blue Dog grace the cover of this month's Animal News magazine, i had had enough. I got Arrow to do his Blue Dog look and snapped him with my trusty cell phone.
I emailed the above to Mr. Rodrigue's website contact and immediately got the following back:

Hi Justin:
We received your email and appreciate you sending us the photo - I suppose of your dog? Quite a resemblance!!! The ears, the face, the nose!!! Blue Dog is everybody's dog!! I will make sure that Mr. Rodrigue sees the photos you sent...he will get a kick out seeing the dog that resembles Blue Dog!

Thanks again!!

Bertha Bernard
Assistant to Mr. Rodrigue

Go Tigers Go!

"Justin,
Good stuff. Great design. Thankyou so much. I forwarded it to coach Cal!" - Coach Pastner

"Very nice. My favorite was, “Now with free-throw shooting power.” - Geoff Calkins

Justin & Aaron, Awesome Trip, Great Time!

Oh, my chippies....I just got back from Hotlanta, GA, with my soon to be married partner in crime, Aaron B. and it was truly an adventre to behold. We were there thanks to Aaron getting me the greatest Christmas present of all time, two tix to see Tim and Eric's Awesome Tour. This is of course the live counterpart to Tim & Eric's Awesome Show Great Job! on Cartoon Network.
The show was absolutely amazing. I saw them last spring at a club in St Louis and it was great, too....but this time they truly went all out PLUS they had their whack pack of bizarre hangers on, so we got the full-on awesome show experience.
If you have never seen the show, it is pointless for me to attempt to describe it here. The short version would be that it is a bright, colorful, hyperactive show meant to look like a crappily made public access kid's show....sort of. It also makes the most of strange, awkward people and their would-be talents. There - that's the best I can do.

DJ Dougpound was the opening act, as he was last year. This guy is actually T & E's sound and video guy. as well as the editor for Awesome Show. His act is sort of a standup comedy/dj act and it is....well, awesome. As a dj, I can appreciate a skewering of the pretensions attached to the craft.

Then the lights came down and it was time for our heroes. First, however, we were treated to an intro by Richard Dunne, a regular to the world of Tim & Eric. I dunno if I have mentioned this, but most of their extended cast consists of 50+ year old men who are NOT professional actors. In fact, they really aren't professional anything....

Then came T & E....they opened with a rousing number about diarrhea. Once that was out of the way, we were treated to a surprising number of classics from the show - even the Kids' Breaks raps,including "I Sit Down When I Pee", "I Think My Sister's Cute" and of course "I'm Never Gonna Wipe My Butt":

And we didn't just get to see Tim and Eric - like I said, they had their whole crew with em this time! James Quall was on-hand to sing "Beach Blast" which I will always know by heart because it is my buddy's cell phone ring:

And oh my goodness they had everyone's favorite, David Loebe Hart, there to sing a collection of classics. I can now say I have seen live performances of "Stay In School", "Drink Milk", "Father & Son"....and, yes, the epic "Salame":

We got to see some previewed bits fromSeason 4 (lots of poop humor, more of the "I Sit On You" guy, and even some Alan Thicke), Eric managed to fire everyone leaving it merely The Eric Show, they even did the "Sexual Romance" bit with Sire singing live (he got fired,too) and Tim in his leopard skin briefs and rat tail, sneaking up on Eric's old lady (played this time by a blowup doll). The show covered all the bases a fan would want to see and kept everyone on their toes as to what they were watching as a Tim & Eric show should. I find that friends of mine either fall in love with this show or totally despise it and see it as the downfall of civilization. Aaron wasn't too big a fan going in....and he probably isn't now, honestly. But I ate it up and I bought some COOL crap. A new Tim & Eric t-shirt AND a David Loebe Hart cd, autographed and hand labeled! Yeeeah, boy!
But our adventure really didn't start til we got back to the Inn and were ready to crash. We had noticed the rather old timey sprinkler system as well as the corroded wires sticking out what had at one time been a smoke detector. As we were just dozing off, the sound of Squidbillies on the TV was cut short by a banging on our door and "FIRE DPARTMENT! GET OUT NOOOWWW!!!" Yup. We grabbed up our shit and scooted out - and yes it smelled like smoke. After doubling back for my glasses, I came out the front door to a dozen fire trucks, some cop cars and an ambulance or two. Smoke was billowing off the roof of the hotel. A police officer grabbed us and asked "Ya'll just coming out of there!?" We told him yes, that the fireman just banged on our door moments ago. "Good to see you aren't dead!" Always reassuring to hear from the cops.

It being 2 a.m., nobody really had any idea what to do or where to go. Nobody from the hotel was anywhere to be found so we didn't know if we would be getting back in or if there was anywhere else we could sleep. Thankfully a local from the apartments across the street noticed us and asked what was going on. he wound up offering us some beers which we gladly accepted. Before we knew it, his cute female neighbor was walking up and offering us more beers. We had a campfire party!

After a few brews and a coupla hours, a fireman informed us a public bus had been brought by for us to sit on and stay warm. We wound up sitting on it, finishing a beer, and hanging out with "Dirty James", the local bum. He had some french fries that were looking kinda right about then.
We finally made it back to our room by like 4 in the morning. The firemen once again informed us that it was cool to go in. Nobody from the hotel ever showed themselves. The next morning we woke up, packed and got ready to check out. When we approached the couter, the young girl on duty just smiled. "We're, uh, checking out now..." We had to expect someone, hopefully someone in charge, to have something to say to us, right? "OK, its cool!" Huh? I gave her my patented "What the hell is wrong with you" look and asked "Does a manager or someone not want to address us about last night's events?" She looked like a deer in headlights. We wound up walking out and resigning ourselves to writing dirty e-mails. Here's the moral of that story: "When in Atlanta, do NOT stay at The Highland Inn." Apparently, all the bands and talent stay there, but they are on drugs. Stay at a real hotel. Stay in a motel. Couch surf. At least they will have soap and shampoo. This place, not so much.

On the way home, we spotted so damn many bingo parlors. Alabama loves em some bingo! Whats up with that?!? They have 24 hour bingo!! They also have mega-porn places called "Love Stuff" which have billboards aaaalll up and down the highway. Or maybe they actually do have love stuff like cards and flowers. But I just did't think truckers bought much of that kind of stuff!

Maybe next year, UT....

who the hell let the dogs out???

Just finished up this van wrap for Horse Creek Animal Shelter and all its dog drawings....i got a lotta response on the initial batch, so here ya go - oh, and you'll notice the new and improved Arrow designed to match the rest of the set:

new mixtape for 09

New mixset for the New Year - and a new site to host it! I really like this one - usually by the time I get one of these recorded to my perdonal satisfaction, i am so sick of all the music i can't listen to it. This, however, I have been jamming myself. Hope you guys like it!

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=d13225057df3f74291b20cc0d07ba4d26ffad0c73f9d11fe

Cozmo's "On Some Other Shhhh" mixtape
01/09 40 minutes
1. Fleetwood Mac - Honey Hi
2. Kasper Bjorke w/ The Pierces - Doesn't Matter Now (Kasper & Tomboy remix)
3. Rat-a-Tat - Falcon Jab (Copy remix)
4. Radiohead - Everything In It's Right Place (Andi Muller's looong remixremix)
5. Dr. Israel - Youth Runnin dub
6. Bumblebeez - Rio (Boy 8 Bit remix)
7. Luscious Jackson - Naked Eye
8. Bring It On Home (Mexicans With Guns remix)
9. Behave - Janice Leahy (Quix & B. Saurus remix)
10. MGMT - Kids
11. Jackie Chain - Rollin (Diplo remix)
12. Jimi Hendrix - Got Me Floatin (B'more funk remix)

Doin' It For The Kids

Wow. What a week, friends. On top of my usual stressful duties of helping keep Vanwraps afloat during this long and dark winter season, catching all Tigers games (which has been stressful in its own right lately), and arguing with my mother over what-i-have-no-idea, I found myself in one of the most interesting, exciting, and perhaps bewildering dj gigs I have had....well, ever.
The Memphis Grizzlies booked Defective Agency (out of character) to do their Read To Achieve event last year at the Forum. It was a pep rally of sorts for grade school kids so they could show them just how much our beloved Grizz players looooove to read books. It was very convincing. Anyway, we learned a true lesson in the psyche of little kids: they are street as hell. They do not want to hear stadium music or kid friendly pop. They want to crank that.
So when the Grizz asked me about dj'ing this year's set of Stay In School rallies, at the schools themselves no less, I was excited to meet the challenge, but ready for the battle. Junior high kids. Nastly little critters. I didn't want to get caught off guard with a bunch of bored, unhappy inner city kids, sarcastic and mean to begin with, so I knew I would have to do some homework if I was gonna come correct. Thus, I set out to gather clean versions and/or instrumentals of everything and everyone on Hot 107.1's hot chart....easier said than done. For starters, I don't know what half these titles mean at this point. "What's Up With The Cookies?" Hmmmm...somehow, I don't think dude is talking about Chips Ahoy here....after they got me with "Skeet, Skeet" (which I thought was about shooting clay discs with a shotgun), I don't put anything past em. So as a rule, anything that i couldn't decipher (or even many that I could; "Bust It Wide Open" - the clean version?! Riiiight....) got the instrumental treatment. The cool part is, those are readily available for any hit rap song as most are inappropriate for pretty much anything anyway.
We hit the ground running on Monday afternoon. I really had no idea what to expect. The events consisted of 5 contests: a relay, a basketball shoot out, an endurance contest, a talent show & a dance-off. I played the kids in, then handled the music for each event.
Day 1: Raleigh-Egypt Middle. This turned out to be the worst of the schools, pretty much by far. I think part of it was that it was the end of the day and the kids were ready to am-scray, but i really got the impression that the powers that be just didn't have the respect and control of their kids. In fact, only the 8th grade got to come as I was told, as the rest just couldn't handle it. They were restless, uninterested, and maybe even a little rude and by the end I think everyone was ready to retreat. I pulled up and found my contact, got into the gym, and began unloading. 30 years old and as soon as that intercom came on calling for "Blue Pod to the gymnasium", I found myself in a warp zone back to the thrilling days of yesteryear. Not talking in line, keeping your hands to yourself, no skipping, walkers and car riders....wow. Unfortunately, this session was pretty rough. The one highlight was the brief talent contest we managed to get off. There was supposed to be a dance contest, but we ran short on time and I think some were scared to see what these kids might do. Day 2: Humes Middle School. My aunt tells me this is where my Grandmother and her brothers went back in the Land Before Crime. Would this be another Thunderdome? This event was set for the very start of the morning, so I knew at least the kids would be slow and tuned in a little more. What I didn't count on was that this school was a complete 180 in behavior and demeanor. They marched the kids in, who then sat, listened, cheered and had a good time. This time around, the talent show was in full tilt. The three grades each presented their compeitors: this time a singer, a 3-man doo wop group (!), and a young rapper who gave me his track beforehand. If you watch the two clips, you will notice that both the singers and the rapper did songs about heavy duty break-ups and doin' wrongs and wastin' times and what not. Heavy stuff for 11 year olds!

Then we got to see our first dance contest - they don't do the Kid N' Play no more:

These kids amazed me with their sort of world-weariness, but also the charisma and bravado they carried with them. I think the cool word for it these days is "swagger". I even had a kid come up to me at the end of this session to ask me about dj'ing and if I could ever teach someone like him to do it. You know, I would? I was touched. Kids can be pretty cool when they aren't trying to kill you.Day 3, part 1: FairView Middle. We had Marc Gasol at this one, who is a pretty impressive fellow if only because he is a big 7' tall, Captain caveman looking mug with a funny accent. But he also seems to be a pretty nice guy and the kids obviously were into him and what he had to say. This school was pretty well behaved and had a good time. This time, a young man approached me before the dance contest. Honest to God dialogue:
KID: I wanna Grind in the dance contest and my principal said to axe you if it was ok.
ME: Do whatever you want as long as it won't get us in trouble.
KID: So what are we dancing to?
ME: I will give each of you about 30 seconds of "You Such a Showout..."
KID: Awwww......but man, you got that "Stankleg"??
ME: No, I, uh, didn't, err, want to play anything with....its own dance! Yeah, with its own dance!
KID: Awwwww, and you ain't got no grind music?!
ME: Just do it, kid. You got this.
In the end, he went out to half court, busted half a little piece of a move, and chickened out. BUT...then he came back to me with 2 other friends and wanted to get back out there to do their "grind routine" sans music....who could say no?!? As you can see in the clip, these boys were primed and ready to take it to the flo', but lack of beat and self confidence doomed it from the start:


Day 3, part 2: A. Maceo Walker Middle School. This one had a full-on pep rally going on when we got there. Band BUMPIN. Kids ROWDY. The place was going off. A teacher immediately ran over to me with a cd. This is for the dance contest - track 7! I looked down to see what was in my hand l "Souljah Boy Tell Em. Dot Com". Oh boy! I skipped to track seven to see what the track du jour would be...."She got a donk....She got a donk....She got a donkShe got a donkShe got a donk!" Awesome! This school definitey had the most spirit, but in the end they got a little toooo crunk and lost control. A t-shirt got thrown to the wrong part of the bleachers and I guess somebody really needed a t-shirt because a fight broke out.
Immediately, however, the principal was on the scene and busting kids out by name! The whole gym went on silent lockdown mode. Even the Grizz folks packed up silently, like we were in trouble! The kids marched out single file, heads hung low. Teachers called for them to quit talking, take that coat off. My travels through time had come to an end. Alls well that ends well.
In the end, I had a blast. I felt like I covered my bases as a professional, had some adventures and made some new friends, and I even got to shake hands with my personal favorite player (who should start, dammit!) Hakim Warrick. Tall dude. And he even told the kids, when asked, that had he not played pro ball, he would have taken the degree he went back to earn, and would have opened a retail business in his old neighborhood. I thought that was pretty cool.
February brings with it the Read To Achieve rally at the Forum. Will it be the Day of the StankLeg? We shall see, dear readers...we shall see.