Justin & Aaron, Awesome Trip, Great Time!

Oh, my chippies....I just got back from Hotlanta, GA, with my soon to be married partner in crime, Aaron B. and it was truly an adventre to behold. We were there thanks to Aaron getting me the greatest Christmas present of all time, two tix to see Tim and Eric's Awesome Tour. This is of course the live counterpart to Tim & Eric's Awesome Show Great Job! on Cartoon Network.
The show was absolutely amazing. I saw them last spring at a club in St Louis and it was great, too....but this time they truly went all out PLUS they had their whack pack of bizarre hangers on, so we got the full-on awesome show experience.
If you have never seen the show, it is pointless for me to attempt to describe it here. The short version would be that it is a bright, colorful, hyperactive show meant to look like a crappily made public access kid's show....sort of. It also makes the most of strange, awkward people and their would-be talents. There - that's the best I can do.

DJ Dougpound was the opening act, as he was last year. This guy is actually T & E's sound and video guy. as well as the editor for Awesome Show. His act is sort of a standup comedy/dj act and it is....well, awesome. As a dj, I can appreciate a skewering of the pretensions attached to the craft.

Then the lights came down and it was time for our heroes. First, however, we were treated to an intro by Richard Dunne, a regular to the world of Tim & Eric. I dunno if I have mentioned this, but most of their extended cast consists of 50+ year old men who are NOT professional actors. In fact, they really aren't professional anything....

Then came T & E....they opened with a rousing number about diarrhea. Once that was out of the way, we were treated to a surprising number of classics from the show - even the Kids' Breaks raps,including "I Sit Down When I Pee", "I Think My Sister's Cute" and of course "I'm Never Gonna Wipe My Butt":

And we didn't just get to see Tim and Eric - like I said, they had their whole crew with em this time! James Quall was on-hand to sing "Beach Blast" which I will always know by heart because it is my buddy's cell phone ring:

And oh my goodness they had everyone's favorite, David Loebe Hart, there to sing a collection of classics. I can now say I have seen live performances of "Stay In School", "Drink Milk", "Father & Son"....and, yes, the epic "Salame":

We got to see some previewed bits fromSeason 4 (lots of poop humor, more of the "I Sit On You" guy, and even some Alan Thicke), Eric managed to fire everyone leaving it merely The Eric Show, they even did the "Sexual Romance" bit with Sire singing live (he got fired,too) and Tim in his leopard skin briefs and rat tail, sneaking up on Eric's old lady (played this time by a blowup doll). The show covered all the bases a fan would want to see and kept everyone on their toes as to what they were watching as a Tim & Eric show should. I find that friends of mine either fall in love with this show or totally despise it and see it as the downfall of civilization. Aaron wasn't too big a fan going in....and he probably isn't now, honestly. But I ate it up and I bought some COOL crap. A new Tim & Eric t-shirt AND a David Loebe Hart cd, autographed and hand labeled! Yeeeah, boy!
But our adventure really didn't start til we got back to the Inn and were ready to crash. We had noticed the rather old timey sprinkler system as well as the corroded wires sticking out what had at one time been a smoke detector. As we were just dozing off, the sound of Squidbillies on the TV was cut short by a banging on our door and "FIRE DPARTMENT! GET OUT NOOOWWW!!!" Yup. We grabbed up our shit and scooted out - and yes it smelled like smoke. After doubling back for my glasses, I came out the front door to a dozen fire trucks, some cop cars and an ambulance or two. Smoke was billowing off the roof of the hotel. A police officer grabbed us and asked "Ya'll just coming out of there!?" We told him yes, that the fireman just banged on our door moments ago. "Good to see you aren't dead!" Always reassuring to hear from the cops.

It being 2 a.m., nobody really had any idea what to do or where to go. Nobody from the hotel was anywhere to be found so we didn't know if we would be getting back in or if there was anywhere else we could sleep. Thankfully a local from the apartments across the street noticed us and asked what was going on. he wound up offering us some beers which we gladly accepted. Before we knew it, his cute female neighbor was walking up and offering us more beers. We had a campfire party!

After a few brews and a coupla hours, a fireman informed us a public bus had been brought by for us to sit on and stay warm. We wound up sitting on it, finishing a beer, and hanging out with "Dirty James", the local bum. He had some french fries that were looking kinda right about then.
We finally made it back to our room by like 4 in the morning. The firemen once again informed us that it was cool to go in. Nobody from the hotel ever showed themselves. The next morning we woke up, packed and got ready to check out. When we approached the couter, the young girl on duty just smiled. "We're, uh, checking out now..." We had to expect someone, hopefully someone in charge, to have something to say to us, right? "OK, its cool!" Huh? I gave her my patented "What the hell is wrong with you" look and asked "Does a manager or someone not want to address us about last night's events?" She looked like a deer in headlights. We wound up walking out and resigning ourselves to writing dirty e-mails. Here's the moral of that story: "When in Atlanta, do NOT stay at The Highland Inn." Apparently, all the bands and talent stay there, but they are on drugs. Stay at a real hotel. Stay in a motel. Couch surf. At least they will have soap and shampoo. This place, not so much.

On the way home, we spotted so damn many bingo parlors. Alabama loves em some bingo! Whats up with that?!? They have 24 hour bingo!! They also have mega-porn places called "Love Stuff" which have billboards aaaalll up and down the highway. Or maybe they actually do have love stuff like cards and flowers. But I just did't think truckers bought much of that kind of stuff!