Go Tigers Go!

"Justin,
Good stuff. Great design. Thankyou so much. I forwarded it to coach Cal!" - Coach Pastner

"Very nice. My favorite was, “Now with free-throw shooting power.” - Geoff Calkins

Justin & Aaron, Awesome Trip, Great Time!

Oh, my chippies....I just got back from Hotlanta, GA, with my soon to be married partner in crime, Aaron B. and it was truly an adventre to behold. We were there thanks to Aaron getting me the greatest Christmas present of all time, two tix to see Tim and Eric's Awesome Tour. This is of course the live counterpart to Tim & Eric's Awesome Show Great Job! on Cartoon Network.
The show was absolutely amazing. I saw them last spring at a club in St Louis and it was great, too....but this time they truly went all out PLUS they had their whack pack of bizarre hangers on, so we got the full-on awesome show experience.
If you have never seen the show, it is pointless for me to attempt to describe it here. The short version would be that it is a bright, colorful, hyperactive show meant to look like a crappily made public access kid's show....sort of. It also makes the most of strange, awkward people and their would-be talents. There - that's the best I can do.

DJ Dougpound was the opening act, as he was last year. This guy is actually T & E's sound and video guy. as well as the editor for Awesome Show. His act is sort of a standup comedy/dj act and it is....well, awesome. As a dj, I can appreciate a skewering of the pretensions attached to the craft.

Then the lights came down and it was time for our heroes. First, however, we were treated to an intro by Richard Dunne, a regular to the world of Tim & Eric. I dunno if I have mentioned this, but most of their extended cast consists of 50+ year old men who are NOT professional actors. In fact, they really aren't professional anything....

Then came T & E....they opened with a rousing number about diarrhea. Once that was out of the way, we were treated to a surprising number of classics from the show - even the Kids' Breaks raps,including "I Sit Down When I Pee", "I Think My Sister's Cute" and of course "I'm Never Gonna Wipe My Butt":

And we didn't just get to see Tim and Eric - like I said, they had their whole crew with em this time! James Quall was on-hand to sing "Beach Blast" which I will always know by heart because it is my buddy's cell phone ring:

And oh my goodness they had everyone's favorite, David Loebe Hart, there to sing a collection of classics. I can now say I have seen live performances of "Stay In School", "Drink Milk", "Father & Son"....and, yes, the epic "Salame":

We got to see some previewed bits fromSeason 4 (lots of poop humor, more of the "I Sit On You" guy, and even some Alan Thicke), Eric managed to fire everyone leaving it merely The Eric Show, they even did the "Sexual Romance" bit with Sire singing live (he got fired,too) and Tim in his leopard skin briefs and rat tail, sneaking up on Eric's old lady (played this time by a blowup doll). The show covered all the bases a fan would want to see and kept everyone on their toes as to what they were watching as a Tim & Eric show should. I find that friends of mine either fall in love with this show or totally despise it and see it as the downfall of civilization. Aaron wasn't too big a fan going in....and he probably isn't now, honestly. But I ate it up and I bought some COOL crap. A new Tim & Eric t-shirt AND a David Loebe Hart cd, autographed and hand labeled! Yeeeah, boy!
But our adventure really didn't start til we got back to the Inn and were ready to crash. We had noticed the rather old timey sprinkler system as well as the corroded wires sticking out what had at one time been a smoke detector. As we were just dozing off, the sound of Squidbillies on the TV was cut short by a banging on our door and "FIRE DPARTMENT! GET OUT NOOOWWW!!!" Yup. We grabbed up our shit and scooted out - and yes it smelled like smoke. After doubling back for my glasses, I came out the front door to a dozen fire trucks, some cop cars and an ambulance or two. Smoke was billowing off the roof of the hotel. A police officer grabbed us and asked "Ya'll just coming out of there!?" We told him yes, that the fireman just banged on our door moments ago. "Good to see you aren't dead!" Always reassuring to hear from the cops.

It being 2 a.m., nobody really had any idea what to do or where to go. Nobody from the hotel was anywhere to be found so we didn't know if we would be getting back in or if there was anywhere else we could sleep. Thankfully a local from the apartments across the street noticed us and asked what was going on. he wound up offering us some beers which we gladly accepted. Before we knew it, his cute female neighbor was walking up and offering us more beers. We had a campfire party!

After a few brews and a coupla hours, a fireman informed us a public bus had been brought by for us to sit on and stay warm. We wound up sitting on it, finishing a beer, and hanging out with "Dirty James", the local bum. He had some french fries that were looking kinda right about then.
We finally made it back to our room by like 4 in the morning. The firemen once again informed us that it was cool to go in. Nobody from the hotel ever showed themselves. The next morning we woke up, packed and got ready to check out. When we approached the couter, the young girl on duty just smiled. "We're, uh, checking out now..." We had to expect someone, hopefully someone in charge, to have something to say to us, right? "OK, its cool!" Huh? I gave her my patented "What the hell is wrong with you" look and asked "Does a manager or someone not want to address us about last night's events?" She looked like a deer in headlights. We wound up walking out and resigning ourselves to writing dirty e-mails. Here's the moral of that story: "When in Atlanta, do NOT stay at The Highland Inn." Apparently, all the bands and talent stay there, but they are on drugs. Stay at a real hotel. Stay in a motel. Couch surf. At least they will have soap and shampoo. This place, not so much.

On the way home, we spotted so damn many bingo parlors. Alabama loves em some bingo! Whats up with that?!? They have 24 hour bingo!! They also have mega-porn places called "Love Stuff" which have billboards aaaalll up and down the highway. Or maybe they actually do have love stuff like cards and flowers. But I just did't think truckers bought much of that kind of stuff!

Maybe next year, UT....

who the hell let the dogs out???

Just finished up this van wrap for Horse Creek Animal Shelter and all its dog drawings....i got a lotta response on the initial batch, so here ya go - oh, and you'll notice the new and improved Arrow designed to match the rest of the set:

new mixtape for 09

New mixset for the New Year - and a new site to host it! I really like this one - usually by the time I get one of these recorded to my perdonal satisfaction, i am so sick of all the music i can't listen to it. This, however, I have been jamming myself. Hope you guys like it!

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=d13225057df3f74291b20cc0d07ba4d26ffad0c73f9d11fe

Cozmo's "On Some Other Shhhh" mixtape
01/09 40 minutes
1. Fleetwood Mac - Honey Hi
2. Kasper Bjorke w/ The Pierces - Doesn't Matter Now (Kasper & Tomboy remix)
3. Rat-a-Tat - Falcon Jab (Copy remix)
4. Radiohead - Everything In It's Right Place (Andi Muller's looong remixremix)
5. Dr. Israel - Youth Runnin dub
6. Bumblebeez - Rio (Boy 8 Bit remix)
7. Luscious Jackson - Naked Eye
8. Bring It On Home (Mexicans With Guns remix)
9. Behave - Janice Leahy (Quix & B. Saurus remix)
10. MGMT - Kids
11. Jackie Chain - Rollin (Diplo remix)
12. Jimi Hendrix - Got Me Floatin (B'more funk remix)

Doin' It For The Kids

Wow. What a week, friends. On top of my usual stressful duties of helping keep Vanwraps afloat during this long and dark winter season, catching all Tigers games (which has been stressful in its own right lately), and arguing with my mother over what-i-have-no-idea, I found myself in one of the most interesting, exciting, and perhaps bewildering dj gigs I have had....well, ever.
The Memphis Grizzlies booked Defective Agency (out of character) to do their Read To Achieve event last year at the Forum. It was a pep rally of sorts for grade school kids so they could show them just how much our beloved Grizz players looooove to read books. It was very convincing. Anyway, we learned a true lesson in the psyche of little kids: they are street as hell. They do not want to hear stadium music or kid friendly pop. They want to crank that.
So when the Grizz asked me about dj'ing this year's set of Stay In School rallies, at the schools themselves no less, I was excited to meet the challenge, but ready for the battle. Junior high kids. Nastly little critters. I didn't want to get caught off guard with a bunch of bored, unhappy inner city kids, sarcastic and mean to begin with, so I knew I would have to do some homework if I was gonna come correct. Thus, I set out to gather clean versions and/or instrumentals of everything and everyone on Hot 107.1's hot chart....easier said than done. For starters, I don't know what half these titles mean at this point. "What's Up With The Cookies?" Hmmmm...somehow, I don't think dude is talking about Chips Ahoy here....after they got me with "Skeet, Skeet" (which I thought was about shooting clay discs with a shotgun), I don't put anything past em. So as a rule, anything that i couldn't decipher (or even many that I could; "Bust It Wide Open" - the clean version?! Riiiight....) got the instrumental treatment. The cool part is, those are readily available for any hit rap song as most are inappropriate for pretty much anything anyway.
We hit the ground running on Monday afternoon. I really had no idea what to expect. The events consisted of 5 contests: a relay, a basketball shoot out, an endurance contest, a talent show & a dance-off. I played the kids in, then handled the music for each event.
Day 1: Raleigh-Egypt Middle. This turned out to be the worst of the schools, pretty much by far. I think part of it was that it was the end of the day and the kids were ready to am-scray, but i really got the impression that the powers that be just didn't have the respect and control of their kids. In fact, only the 8th grade got to come as I was told, as the rest just couldn't handle it. They were restless, uninterested, and maybe even a little rude and by the end I think everyone was ready to retreat. I pulled up and found my contact, got into the gym, and began unloading. 30 years old and as soon as that intercom came on calling for "Blue Pod to the gymnasium", I found myself in a warp zone back to the thrilling days of yesteryear. Not talking in line, keeping your hands to yourself, no skipping, walkers and car riders....wow. Unfortunately, this session was pretty rough. The one highlight was the brief talent contest we managed to get off. There was supposed to be a dance contest, but we ran short on time and I think some were scared to see what these kids might do. Day 2: Humes Middle School. My aunt tells me this is where my Grandmother and her brothers went back in the Land Before Crime. Would this be another Thunderdome? This event was set for the very start of the morning, so I knew at least the kids would be slow and tuned in a little more. What I didn't count on was that this school was a complete 180 in behavior and demeanor. They marched the kids in, who then sat, listened, cheered and had a good time. This time around, the talent show was in full tilt. The three grades each presented their compeitors: this time a singer, a 3-man doo wop group (!), and a young rapper who gave me his track beforehand. If you watch the two clips, you will notice that both the singers and the rapper did songs about heavy duty break-ups and doin' wrongs and wastin' times and what not. Heavy stuff for 11 year olds!

Then we got to see our first dance contest - they don't do the Kid N' Play no more:

These kids amazed me with their sort of world-weariness, but also the charisma and bravado they carried with them. I think the cool word for it these days is "swagger". I even had a kid come up to me at the end of this session to ask me about dj'ing and if I could ever teach someone like him to do it. You know, I would? I was touched. Kids can be pretty cool when they aren't trying to kill you.Day 3, part 1: FairView Middle. We had Marc Gasol at this one, who is a pretty impressive fellow if only because he is a big 7' tall, Captain caveman looking mug with a funny accent. But he also seems to be a pretty nice guy and the kids obviously were into him and what he had to say. This school was pretty well behaved and had a good time. This time, a young man approached me before the dance contest. Honest to God dialogue:
KID: I wanna Grind in the dance contest and my principal said to axe you if it was ok.
ME: Do whatever you want as long as it won't get us in trouble.
KID: So what are we dancing to?
ME: I will give each of you about 30 seconds of "You Such a Showout..."
KID: Awwww......but man, you got that "Stankleg"??
ME: No, I, uh, didn't, err, want to play anything with....its own dance! Yeah, with its own dance!
KID: Awwwww, and you ain't got no grind music?!
ME: Just do it, kid. You got this.
In the end, he went out to half court, busted half a little piece of a move, and chickened out. BUT...then he came back to me with 2 other friends and wanted to get back out there to do their "grind routine" sans music....who could say no?!? As you can see in the clip, these boys were primed and ready to take it to the flo', but lack of beat and self confidence doomed it from the start:


Day 3, part 2: A. Maceo Walker Middle School. This one had a full-on pep rally going on when we got there. Band BUMPIN. Kids ROWDY. The place was going off. A teacher immediately ran over to me with a cd. This is for the dance contest - track 7! I looked down to see what was in my hand l "Souljah Boy Tell Em. Dot Com". Oh boy! I skipped to track seven to see what the track du jour would be...."She got a donk....She got a donk....She got a donkShe got a donkShe got a donk!" Awesome! This school definitey had the most spirit, but in the end they got a little toooo crunk and lost control. A t-shirt got thrown to the wrong part of the bleachers and I guess somebody really needed a t-shirt because a fight broke out.
Immediately, however, the principal was on the scene and busting kids out by name! The whole gym went on silent lockdown mode. Even the Grizz folks packed up silently, like we were in trouble! The kids marched out single file, heads hung low. Teachers called for them to quit talking, take that coat off. My travels through time had come to an end. Alls well that ends well.
In the end, I had a blast. I felt like I covered my bases as a professional, had some adventures and made some new friends, and I even got to shake hands with my personal favorite player (who should start, dammit!) Hakim Warrick. Tall dude. And he even told the kids, when asked, that had he not played pro ball, he would have taken the degree he went back to earn, and would have opened a retail business in his old neighborhood. I thought that was pretty cool.
February brings with it the Read To Achieve rally at the Forum. Will it be the Day of the StankLeg? We shall see, dear readers...we shall see.

"Its been a long time...I shouldn't have left you...without a dope beat to step to..."

RESOLUTION 1: GET BACK TO THE ISLAND!

Sorry, sorry...just getting a little stir crazy and landlocked - it happens when you go a full year without hearing the ocean...So I guess it has been a minute since my last post...and oh, friends, what a minute it has been! Those holidays do pack a whallop, huh? I have to take a minute and say that this was most DEFINITELY one of the best Christmas seasons - and I mean the whole flippin' season here, folks - that I have enjoyed since I was a kid. It all started back at Thanksgiving getting to roll outta town with the folks to see family we never get to hang out with - and getting corralled into seeing the Rockettes' Christmas Special at the Grand Ole Opry?!?! Then my birthday rocked out and I got to see D. Rose play the Grizz with my Dad...and amidst the whole thing, Tigers season has been a blast...then Christmas worked out amazingly - and thank you to all my dear friends who came over either during my parties or just during the season. You guys are great! And a special big-ups to Paul's family who invited me over for my first ever 12th Night celebration. What a treat!
SOOOO let's bring things up to speed here - Christmas was really cool this year. Paul came into town and sang the Anthem for the second year at the Grizz game. I know he will not mind my relating that the old black dude behind me was heard to declare "That boy could sang!" when he hit the last note. It was very Coming To America. With opera.

Christmas Eve I went "home" to West Memphis to hang out with my folks and have some food & drank. Also, most importantly, it has become a tradition to revisit my Mom's favorite Christmas special, the early Jim Henson jem "Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas". If you don't know this one, do yourself a favor and Netflix the DVD. It was the bridge between the Muppet Show and the first Muppet movie. Though South Park later skewered it with their "Woodland Critter Christmas", nothing is as punk rock as the Riverbottom Nightmare Band singing "We don't brush our teeth / cuz our toothache will help us stay mean".

Also, West Memphis has cranked up the Norman Rockwell factor over the past few years so now the park on my parents' street looks like a Winter Wonderland from the 40s. They have music playing, carriages rolling around and egad the lights! But I must admit, the small town charm is alluring and almost makes up for the smell of sewer stank that crinkles your nose when you first cross the bridge. And of course I must comment on Tigers season. And if you think you are making news when you declare "Well, they just ain't as good as last year," you then are an idiot. That's common sense! And I would also remind even my friends and fellow fans that we have thus far played the 6th hardest schedule in the country with all our hokey doke 40 point wins still coming up. Will we beat UT? If we do, we will go Sweet 16, but I doubt it. But these guys are just starting to come online and find their speed. They will be kicking ass by March - book that. Oh, and just because I can't resist - behold our view of the games this season....awwwwww, yeah!

Even Arrow Dog had to get in the spirit of the season this year. At my work party, he had little kids hanging on his neck and petting his head...would you believe we had no incidents - and I even found him shaking hands with my bosses' kids for turkey and cheese! Sellout!And for those who ask me if Arrow ever leaves my side & cuts loose - he does, and this is what he does:

I also got to spend an afternoon helping my friend Chris film his indie-short-film-labor-of-love. I won't spill the beans on it but definitely look up the trailer for "Brumski's" when you next visit Youtube....Chris, wanna post that link in the comments?

We spent an afternoon in the Hi Tone filming what I am guessing to be about 30 seconds worth of footage. I won't divulge any plot points here (spoilers as they are called....spoileralert! You will die alone! Ha!) but suffice to say the subject matter is a bit....off-color? What does that even mean?!



New Year's was also very cool - I wound up dj'ing the Bayou Bar & Grill in Midtown. Very neat vibe and to top it off I had some Tim & Eric fans at the end of the night dancing and singing "Doo-Dah-Doo-Doo"!

Now, I get to start the year with a van wrap project right up me old alley...an animal shelter in Arkansas that reeally wanted me to draw several of their dogs to wrap their ginormous SPrinter van. That thang's huuuuge as Tiny Elvis would say. So I have created a makeshift assembly line for drwing scanning coloring and finalizing these things - here's my progress thus far:

I have to be thankful that I get paid to do this - and I must say I am greatly enjoying this project. In the end I plan to do about 20 of these guys - it's so much easier than dealing with people. Dogs don't go "Wht did you add that line? It makes me look old? That makes me look mean! That makes me look fat! That doesn't look like me!"

Well, happy New Year everyone. I think I have a 2009 looking-forward-to list coming up. Stay tuned and stay in touch!