Maybe next year, UT....

who the hell let the dogs out???

Just finished up this van wrap for Horse Creek Animal Shelter and all its dog drawings....i got a lotta response on the initial batch, so here ya go - oh, and you'll notice the new and improved Arrow designed to match the rest of the set:

new mixtape for 09

New mixset for the New Year - and a new site to host it! I really like this one - usually by the time I get one of these recorded to my perdonal satisfaction, i am so sick of all the music i can't listen to it. This, however, I have been jamming myself. Hope you guys like it!

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=d13225057df3f74291b20cc0d07ba4d26ffad0c73f9d11fe

Cozmo's "On Some Other Shhhh" mixtape
01/09 40 minutes
1. Fleetwood Mac - Honey Hi
2. Kasper Bjorke w/ The Pierces - Doesn't Matter Now (Kasper & Tomboy remix)
3. Rat-a-Tat - Falcon Jab (Copy remix)
4. Radiohead - Everything In It's Right Place (Andi Muller's looong remixremix)
5. Dr. Israel - Youth Runnin dub
6. Bumblebeez - Rio (Boy 8 Bit remix)
7. Luscious Jackson - Naked Eye
8. Bring It On Home (Mexicans With Guns remix)
9. Behave - Janice Leahy (Quix & B. Saurus remix)
10. MGMT - Kids
11. Jackie Chain - Rollin (Diplo remix)
12. Jimi Hendrix - Got Me Floatin (B'more funk remix)

Doin' It For The Kids

Wow. What a week, friends. On top of my usual stressful duties of helping keep Vanwraps afloat during this long and dark winter season, catching all Tigers games (which has been stressful in its own right lately), and arguing with my mother over what-i-have-no-idea, I found myself in one of the most interesting, exciting, and perhaps bewildering dj gigs I have had....well, ever.
The Memphis Grizzlies booked Defective Agency (out of character) to do their Read To Achieve event last year at the Forum. It was a pep rally of sorts for grade school kids so they could show them just how much our beloved Grizz players looooove to read books. It was very convincing. Anyway, we learned a true lesson in the psyche of little kids: they are street as hell. They do not want to hear stadium music or kid friendly pop. They want to crank that.
So when the Grizz asked me about dj'ing this year's set of Stay In School rallies, at the schools themselves no less, I was excited to meet the challenge, but ready for the battle. Junior high kids. Nastly little critters. I didn't want to get caught off guard with a bunch of bored, unhappy inner city kids, sarcastic and mean to begin with, so I knew I would have to do some homework if I was gonna come correct. Thus, I set out to gather clean versions and/or instrumentals of everything and everyone on Hot 107.1's hot chart....easier said than done. For starters, I don't know what half these titles mean at this point. "What's Up With The Cookies?" Hmmmm...somehow, I don't think dude is talking about Chips Ahoy here....after they got me with "Skeet, Skeet" (which I thought was about shooting clay discs with a shotgun), I don't put anything past em. So as a rule, anything that i couldn't decipher (or even many that I could; "Bust It Wide Open" - the clean version?! Riiiight....) got the instrumental treatment. The cool part is, those are readily available for any hit rap song as most are inappropriate for pretty much anything anyway.
We hit the ground running on Monday afternoon. I really had no idea what to expect. The events consisted of 5 contests: a relay, a basketball shoot out, an endurance contest, a talent show & a dance-off. I played the kids in, then handled the music for each event.
Day 1: Raleigh-Egypt Middle. This turned out to be the worst of the schools, pretty much by far. I think part of it was that it was the end of the day and the kids were ready to am-scray, but i really got the impression that the powers that be just didn't have the respect and control of their kids. In fact, only the 8th grade got to come as I was told, as the rest just couldn't handle it. They were restless, uninterested, and maybe even a little rude and by the end I think everyone was ready to retreat. I pulled up and found my contact, got into the gym, and began unloading. 30 years old and as soon as that intercom came on calling for "Blue Pod to the gymnasium", I found myself in a warp zone back to the thrilling days of yesteryear. Not talking in line, keeping your hands to yourself, no skipping, walkers and car riders....wow. Unfortunately, this session was pretty rough. The one highlight was the brief talent contest we managed to get off. There was supposed to be a dance contest, but we ran short on time and I think some were scared to see what these kids might do. Day 2: Humes Middle School. My aunt tells me this is where my Grandmother and her brothers went back in the Land Before Crime. Would this be another Thunderdome? This event was set for the very start of the morning, so I knew at least the kids would be slow and tuned in a little more. What I didn't count on was that this school was a complete 180 in behavior and demeanor. They marched the kids in, who then sat, listened, cheered and had a good time. This time around, the talent show was in full tilt. The three grades each presented their compeitors: this time a singer, a 3-man doo wop group (!), and a young rapper who gave me his track beforehand. If you watch the two clips, you will notice that both the singers and the rapper did songs about heavy duty break-ups and doin' wrongs and wastin' times and what not. Heavy stuff for 11 year olds!

Then we got to see our first dance contest - they don't do the Kid N' Play no more:

These kids amazed me with their sort of world-weariness, but also the charisma and bravado they carried with them. I think the cool word for it these days is "swagger". I even had a kid come up to me at the end of this session to ask me about dj'ing and if I could ever teach someone like him to do it. You know, I would? I was touched. Kids can be pretty cool when they aren't trying to kill you.Day 3, part 1: FairView Middle. We had Marc Gasol at this one, who is a pretty impressive fellow if only because he is a big 7' tall, Captain caveman looking mug with a funny accent. But he also seems to be a pretty nice guy and the kids obviously were into him and what he had to say. This school was pretty well behaved and had a good time. This time, a young man approached me before the dance contest. Honest to God dialogue:
KID: I wanna Grind in the dance contest and my principal said to axe you if it was ok.
ME: Do whatever you want as long as it won't get us in trouble.
KID: So what are we dancing to?
ME: I will give each of you about 30 seconds of "You Such a Showout..."
KID: Awwww......but man, you got that "Stankleg"??
ME: No, I, uh, didn't, err, want to play anything with....its own dance! Yeah, with its own dance!
KID: Awwwww, and you ain't got no grind music?!
ME: Just do it, kid. You got this.
In the end, he went out to half court, busted half a little piece of a move, and chickened out. BUT...then he came back to me with 2 other friends and wanted to get back out there to do their "grind routine" sans music....who could say no?!? As you can see in the clip, these boys were primed and ready to take it to the flo', but lack of beat and self confidence doomed it from the start:


Day 3, part 2: A. Maceo Walker Middle School. This one had a full-on pep rally going on when we got there. Band BUMPIN. Kids ROWDY. The place was going off. A teacher immediately ran over to me with a cd. This is for the dance contest - track 7! I looked down to see what was in my hand l "Souljah Boy Tell Em. Dot Com". Oh boy! I skipped to track seven to see what the track du jour would be...."She got a donk....She got a donk....She got a donkShe got a donkShe got a donk!" Awesome! This school definitey had the most spirit, but in the end they got a little toooo crunk and lost control. A t-shirt got thrown to the wrong part of the bleachers and I guess somebody really needed a t-shirt because a fight broke out.
Immediately, however, the principal was on the scene and busting kids out by name! The whole gym went on silent lockdown mode. Even the Grizz folks packed up silently, like we were in trouble! The kids marched out single file, heads hung low. Teachers called for them to quit talking, take that coat off. My travels through time had come to an end. Alls well that ends well.
In the end, I had a blast. I felt like I covered my bases as a professional, had some adventures and made some new friends, and I even got to shake hands with my personal favorite player (who should start, dammit!) Hakim Warrick. Tall dude. And he even told the kids, when asked, that had he not played pro ball, he would have taken the degree he went back to earn, and would have opened a retail business in his old neighborhood. I thought that was pretty cool.
February brings with it the Read To Achieve rally at the Forum. Will it be the Day of the StankLeg? We shall see, dear readers...we shall see.

"Its been a long time...I shouldn't have left you...without a dope beat to step to..."

RESOLUTION 1: GET BACK TO THE ISLAND!

Sorry, sorry...just getting a little stir crazy and landlocked - it happens when you go a full year without hearing the ocean...So I guess it has been a minute since my last post...and oh, friends, what a minute it has been! Those holidays do pack a whallop, huh? I have to take a minute and say that this was most DEFINITELY one of the best Christmas seasons - and I mean the whole flippin' season here, folks - that I have enjoyed since I was a kid. It all started back at Thanksgiving getting to roll outta town with the folks to see family we never get to hang out with - and getting corralled into seeing the Rockettes' Christmas Special at the Grand Ole Opry?!?! Then my birthday rocked out and I got to see D. Rose play the Grizz with my Dad...and amidst the whole thing, Tigers season has been a blast...then Christmas worked out amazingly - and thank you to all my dear friends who came over either during my parties or just during the season. You guys are great! And a special big-ups to Paul's family who invited me over for my first ever 12th Night celebration. What a treat!
SOOOO let's bring things up to speed here - Christmas was really cool this year. Paul came into town and sang the Anthem for the second year at the Grizz game. I know he will not mind my relating that the old black dude behind me was heard to declare "That boy could sang!" when he hit the last note. It was very Coming To America. With opera.

Christmas Eve I went "home" to West Memphis to hang out with my folks and have some food & drank. Also, most importantly, it has become a tradition to revisit my Mom's favorite Christmas special, the early Jim Henson jem "Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas". If you don't know this one, do yourself a favor and Netflix the DVD. It was the bridge between the Muppet Show and the first Muppet movie. Though South Park later skewered it with their "Woodland Critter Christmas", nothing is as punk rock as the Riverbottom Nightmare Band singing "We don't brush our teeth / cuz our toothache will help us stay mean".

Also, West Memphis has cranked up the Norman Rockwell factor over the past few years so now the park on my parents' street looks like a Winter Wonderland from the 40s. They have music playing, carriages rolling around and egad the lights! But I must admit, the small town charm is alluring and almost makes up for the smell of sewer stank that crinkles your nose when you first cross the bridge. And of course I must comment on Tigers season. And if you think you are making news when you declare "Well, they just ain't as good as last year," you then are an idiot. That's common sense! And I would also remind even my friends and fellow fans that we have thus far played the 6th hardest schedule in the country with all our hokey doke 40 point wins still coming up. Will we beat UT? If we do, we will go Sweet 16, but I doubt it. But these guys are just starting to come online and find their speed. They will be kicking ass by March - book that. Oh, and just because I can't resist - behold our view of the games this season....awwwwww, yeah!

Even Arrow Dog had to get in the spirit of the season this year. At my work party, he had little kids hanging on his neck and petting his head...would you believe we had no incidents - and I even found him shaking hands with my bosses' kids for turkey and cheese! Sellout!And for those who ask me if Arrow ever leaves my side & cuts loose - he does, and this is what he does:

I also got to spend an afternoon helping my friend Chris film his indie-short-film-labor-of-love. I won't spill the beans on it but definitely look up the trailer for "Brumski's" when you next visit Youtube....Chris, wanna post that link in the comments?

We spent an afternoon in the Hi Tone filming what I am guessing to be about 30 seconds worth of footage. I won't divulge any plot points here (spoilers as they are called....spoileralert! You will die alone! Ha!) but suffice to say the subject matter is a bit....off-color? What does that even mean?!



New Year's was also very cool - I wound up dj'ing the Bayou Bar & Grill in Midtown. Very neat vibe and to top it off I had some Tim & Eric fans at the end of the night dancing and singing "Doo-Dah-Doo-Doo"!

Now, I get to start the year with a van wrap project right up me old alley...an animal shelter in Arkansas that reeally wanted me to draw several of their dogs to wrap their ginormous SPrinter van. That thang's huuuuge as Tiny Elvis would say. So I have created a makeshift assembly line for drwing scanning coloring and finalizing these things - here's my progress thus far:

I have to be thankful that I get paid to do this - and I must say I am greatly enjoying this project. In the end I plan to do about 20 of these guys - it's so much easier than dealing with people. Dogs don't go "Wht did you add that line? It makes me look old? That makes me look mean! That makes me look fat! That doesn't look like me!"

Well, happy New Year everyone. I think I have a 2009 looking-forward-to list coming up. Stay tuned and stay in touch!

"I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming...but how?!"

No, I don't hate Christmas...but who can't empathize with the Grinch a little bit? Sneering out at the happy go lucky who's with all their hoopla and merriment. But my issue with Christmas fast approaching is perhaps a little different - if anything I wish we could just keep it on the horizon even longer!I love this time of year with its themes and traditions and twinkling lights...I even like having an excuse to say something nice to someone. Usually I have an excuse to say something crappy.
But I must say this year has been especially sweet. Aaron B., my longtime partner in crime and the other half of Defective Agency, was awesome enough to get us some tickets to catch Tim & Eric live in Atlanta in February! How cool is that?! I got to see them this past March just before Season 3 of Awesome Show came out - it was pretty mind-bending. And Atlanta is supercool....and I get to roadtrip with my best friend! Merry Christmas off and running!

Meanwhile, Christmas downtown is a pretty nifty thing. With all the businesses with their window lights, and the bank with the big bell drawn with colored office lights, plus everyone shuffling around in scarves and santa hats - its hard not to get in the spirit. Even my neighbor Sydney the bum, who lives under the overpass and showers with a bucket, is sporting a santa hat these days! Now thats some Christmas cheer for that ass!

Also adding to my Christmas this year was a brief encounter with my new favorite Tiger...Doneal Mack. Yes, he has stars shaved in his head like a Sneetch...but he has to be the breakout player of the season. He's the only one out there so far that is rising above his expectations..anyway, I happened upon him, Shaun Taggart & Jeff Robinson in the lobby of the Forum the other night on my way in to catch the Grizz ending their winning streak. The other guys were quick to roll eyes and roll out at the sight of an oncoming white boy fan, but Doneal was actually way cool and a very nice guy.

And, oh my God, how could I forget?! Finally, 20 years after we began our quest...Aaron & I revisited and FINALLY beat Raiders of the Lost Ark for the Atari 2600! A ridiculously bizarre and rather involved (for the time) game...I guesss you could say it was ahead of its time in that it is a quest and you have have to explore and find things and figure out what they do and how to use them. But don't get me wrong - its retarded. Which wall the more reason to cheer when we finally sat back down together to beat it. We came close in the second grade, but we didn't have online walkthroughs or beer back then.

Well, I hope you all keep it Crunk n Merry...I am sure I will see many of you either at my Christmas party or perhaps in the days leading up to Christmas. 2008 has been a swell year, you guys. I hope 2009 can hold a candle to it. This being that special time of year (for me to poop on), and what with the economy being in the dump heap, I thought i would leave you with a jolly, yet purely capitalistic, Christmas message:

December is upon us once again...

December - The most happenin month of the year. And boy, this one is no disappointment. Money troubles abound. Gas is a buck fitty for the first time in 5 years. One of my best friends is having a baby. Another is getting married. i am turning 30. 30! The Tigers stand to actually lose some games. Whoa - feeling dizzy. Let me tak it one step at a time here...
First off, we went to Nashville for Thanksgiving to see my Aunt Leslie and her fam. Awesome time - Nashville is undeniably impressive. I see why Jack White saw fit to post up there. Opry Mills has got it going on - the hotel, the mall...and now they have a big mega-aquarium?!
We were there to see the Rckette's Christmas Special. A friend asked me later "Aren't they all old by now?!" and all I can say to that is...well, I'll tell you what, I will be nice and keep it to myself. Pit being, they keep these goils young and fresh. Ooh-la-la. But I have to say, the show was pretty awesome. I hadn't seen mega-stage production values like that since I used to get dragged to mega-church Passion Plays as a kid. Real camels in the nativity scene go along way to wow a crowd. Or at least me and my Uncle Dave.
My interest was snagged by nashville's ICE! They are currently doing the Grinch for what is apparently its final year. As you may know, I am a Dr. Seuss, and particularly a Grinch, fanboy. I have been a junkie since I can remember - the Grinch is an awesome combination of creepiness and pathos. And his teeth are great. But I didn't know what the ICE! thing was - I figured it was Grinch on Ice...an ice skating adventure a la Sesame Street or whatever else they do on ice. my aunt told us they had ice sccculptures and kept it so cold you had to wear the big coats they give you. Upon getting back to my compuetr though, I found that the ice sculpures are the Grinch! Now I can't figure out if thats cooler or lamer than ice skating. I ain't real big on mascot looking figure skaters and lame music....but at least they move. But I have to think this thing could be neat to see once. So i think Mom and i may go check it out...
And, yes, its my birthday this week. Tuesday I will be a real grownup. 30. How ridiculous. But I guess everything pretty much feels like I am doing what I need to be. I love my work. I love my parents and my dog. My friends are all cool. I wish they would quit moving away, but that's another blog for another day.
If you REALLY wanna know what I am looking forward to (like i am sure you do) - my annual Christmas jammy jam is Saturday the 20th this year, following the early Tigers game. Last year was very cool, but i kept my invites to a nil because my place wasn't fully up and running. This year, though, all bets are off and if you have made it to this blog, well, by God, you are invited!

I will be having a miniparty the night before for those who can't make it Saturday or thos whojust want a double dose of that pimpin. Bring something to add to the mix - your favorite drank mix, a dessert, a spicy tuna roll, whateva. You know how we roll.
This year I will have twice the room to spread out, with a second room for turntables, extra seating, atari & nintendo, cable, etc. Last year was way fun - even Arrow Dog had a good time!
OH! And while I am thinking about it - a qucick list of good and bad things:
GOOD:
1) The new Star Wars cartoon. Thought it would SUCK. Instead its got me hooked. Who knew?!
2) Shopping on Amazon. You all got cool gifts coming this year, friends.
3) Soul Coughing - Remember them? I loved "Rolling". There is a cool animated video for it on Youtube.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxyhp1v2A7A
4) I get to be best man at Aaron B's wedding!
NOT BAD, BUT NOT TOO GREAT EITHER:
1) Step Brothers. Those two dudes sleepwalked through that movie. Funny moments, but I expected A-game material from this crew. This was more like Waterboy than Billy Madison.
JUST FLAT OUT BAD. SHITTY, EVEN:
1) This economy blows! It is amazing that everything could strike so harshly and suddenly - and I wish there was something witty I could say about it to make it seem silly - but it is affecting everyone I know and so many I don't. These layoff numbers are real deal, folks. That's people with few presents to give this year. Our shop feels it every time one of our clients goes out of business or defaults on their bills. So give somebody an extra hug and something nice for Christmas this year. Hopefully Obama Claus is gonna bring the change for 09...
2) Santa Claus The Movie - remember that one?? With Dudley Moore and John Lithgow? With the magic suckers?!?!? It magically sucked alright....It was so lame I think I will have to rent it next time I hit Black Lodge.
Merry Christmas bitches!